The beautiful voice

Hi! Long time no see. Been writing another post about a college trip for more than a year yet unable to complete because it was having a pessimistic effect on me and it was dragging me down to move any further to write about the other things that happened afterwards. I guess procrastination and Zeigarnik effect is a lethal combination for a blogger. This recent incident I am about to describe was more powerful enough for me that it enabled me to share it after so many months of my dissonance to writing. Glad it happened. Blessed I am posting a new one after months. 

So! I started working for a US based not for profit organisation like a month ago. Work life is fine and routine started to seep in. I take local buses to reach my workplace. The evening time when I take the bus back home, it is usually crowded and you will hope that the journey ends soon. This one time when I took the bus on such occasion, I met a speech impaired women standing beside me. In crowded local buses usually the money is passed between the person next to you to get your tickets. Crowded means in the bus where you gotta grab the metal poles like a kid hanging over a monkey bars, where there is no place even for the exhaled air to move out, where people do acrobatic hanging nearby to the door and sometimes where your money gets lost in all this chaos and people forgot whose ticket they have received or who gave how much money to pass it to the bus conductor.

This person who is speech impaired fascinated me. Even though she wasn't able to do much she did put all her effort on passing on the money and tickets enthusiastically. She communicated more than all of us to help each other to get a bus ticket. The hand gestures, the sportive smile and her firm grip of not tripping over a strong thud the bus does during twists and turns. All of it, mesmerized me. She was contagious. Everyone who had a crinkle on their forehead, tiredness in their eyes, irritated in their minds were affected by her. She brought a delicate smile to all those around her. Everyone were calm, relaxed and observing her telling her thoughts out through her gestures. She was basically complaining about the crowd, people, sweat, and much more. Even though it was about nothing, it felt nice to know about it in an unusual way. 

I have seen her couple of times before but only now I got the courage to speak with her. I was super intrigued by her. At first I didn't knew how to talk to her and what if it is too creepy to approach her as a stranger in a crowded bus. Later she initiated a conversation with me. Half the time I didn't understand what she was talking about. But it looked like listening to an interesting folklore through a puppetry show. It was interesting to know how many body language cues we miss and notice only if we come across people who are impaired to talk, see and hear. She started the conversation by telling about Double Decker buses at her native. How they are so amazing with double the capacity for people to transport. I asked her about where she is from? She said Surat, Gujarat with elaborate mouth movements. Then I asked her can she hear me? using my hand gestures. She says yes by nodding her head.

I said oh that's awesome. Then we had a long pause. Because I wanted to ask her what work or career she in but afraid about what if its a sensitive question and such question might hurt her. But after multiple eager yet anxious mental questioning I braced myself to ask her. I showed her a hand gesture like typing in a computer and writing to indicate work. She tried to say but it sounded feeble gibberish for me to interpret. I gave a confused pause. She mouths back as in audit. So she does auditing as her career. It surprised me to know her impairment didn't define her self esteem to pursue such a career. I then was trying to tell her I am bad at math. She didn't understand. I tried to indicate math by gesturing counting number by fingers but it confused her even more. She jokingly gestures about texting and calling to tell me what happened to my phone, nowadays everyone has one right! 

Oh, Right! I can type a text to know what she means to tell. I make a small smack to my forehead to indicate that I didn't thought about it. Well unusual communication need unusual thinking and in return we get unusual learning. 

I took out my phone from my bag over it's squished self from people around the crowded bus and opened notes widget. I typed "I am bad at math" She gestured to disagreed by swaying her head and indicated, if you practice you will get it. How nice of her! Then, I typed "What is your name?" She typed "Nikita" I was in a daze of thinking to tell her how people misspell the names in Government documents. Before I could tell she said the same thing in gestures. Funny how coincidence works. She also said some call her Nikeeta, and some say Nikhitha, Neeekeeta, etc but rarely the right way of pronouncing her name. No matter what impairment be there, the feeling of getting our names mispronounced is too obvious and interesting to see from her expressions. She asked me by gesturing "What about your name?" I typed "Sunayana" And "Yes. People mispronounce it at most of the times"

We nodded to agreement like a Tanjore doll as a sign of silent chuckles. Then she luckily got seated as a few people started to depart to their destinations. She asked me to give her my bag to hold it for me as she got seated but I was like that's alright and courteous and stuff. But I did ended up giving her my bag because concerns happen and my arm ligaments did started to have a Nocebo effect when she told me isn't your bag heavy to hold and difficult for you to stand for a long time. She asked me where do you get down at? I told her my destination and she gave a smirk and gestured that's where even she has to get off. We were smiling for a while and then started gazing into the outside world through the momentum of the bus and it's dusty glass window panes. When our stop was about to come, she even advised me to be careful with my bag that the crowd are always in a hurry and they might tend to make you fall and all. So much consideration even my own grandparents never showered upon me. 

We got down to our stop, said our goodbyes to each other and parted our ways on the opposite sides.
One good incident has a power to move you and uplift from your past miseries. It's okay to take time to get healed and revive. For me it happened after months, because everyone has problems and issues but the depth of it takes time the further it has ingrained into our minds. Unravel yourself from such clutches as soon as possible and appreciate small things in life. I would have never anticipated to talk with a speech impaired person in a crowded bus but above all the noise we communicated.

Advice corner: If you are curious about something, do try or learn about it. Life is never disappointing, it's our mindset that we choose to live determines a happy or sad life.

And! Huge news! I am not a college student anymore. Officially entered the career world. Thus change in tagline.

Bye-Bye to my college self and hello to Adulting!

Poem - Nothing lasts longer than you think

Looking outside, everything seems false

Looking inside, falling into a trance

Trying to survive, out of a joke

Hoping for good, like a whisper of smoke

Want to do, something that amaze

Yet here I am, falling into a daze

All these fake faces, they make you barf

But sometimes life, does make you laugh

Even if it’s the case of delusions

It’s like a maze of emotions

Laced by the fact of emptiness

Paced to seek for happiness

- Sunayana

Having holidays and lot's of boring time. No. I didn't had a vacation as my brother is having his college exams. And also no, I am not allowed to go out with friends because they think I might become a spendthrift or get a beautiful tan that will lead to skin cancer. Chennai weather is one chaotic situation. Whomever currently living here, are eligible enough to survive Sahara desert. I passed most of my time seeing biographical movies, eating food and long uninterrupted blissful sleeps. Anyways, I just wanted to share this lame poem I wrote in the meantime. Excuse me for all the grammatical mistakes or if offended the format of a proper poem. I am just an amateur poetess. Hope you all had great time with your April 2017 too. 😊 

As eventful as it gets!

(A mixture of emotions ahead! Please don't hate me for writing sad events along with much more beautiful ones in this blog)

I had too many events that crammed within these past two and a half months. Even though I had enough time.... No! I had plenty of time to write about all those events, but one event shook me to the realities of disgusting senseless creatures. It happened during February which bothered me and made me think and think so much that I wasn't able be my normal self for a few days. I usually try to convey whatever happened in my life so far with as much optimism as possible, but this one I wasn't able to comprehend it in the same way. One unnecessary incident made me to delay to write about other much more important events of my life. I thought to myself "Should I seriously need to consider writing about it? Or should I just forget like it never happened?" But today I decided I wanted it to be out of my mind and to help the good people out there to be more careful and less precarious to prevent such an ordeal that I had been gone through. 

The events:

We had a wonderful session on counselling for personal effectiveness at my college. I know fancy name but all we discussed was about more important stuff like self, society, meditation, relationships and much more. We had an activity where we had to speak about the woman that inspires us. Most of my classmates ended up telling that the person who inspires them was their own mothers. I can't deny the fact that mothers are indeed inspiring but it felt too cliché. They spoke speeches bigger than their exam answer sheets. Lots of them cried either before or after telling about the struggles their mothers endured. But my individuality overflows through my character that I always ended up as an odd one out in the crowd. I am admired for the same reason yet left alone by others for the same. Guess whom I spoke about? Mother Teresa and Anne Frank! Truth is I really don't have any particular woman in my life who inspires me but many women who uplift me with their wits, wisdom, blessings, knowledge, smiles, etc. 

The session continued with lots of presentations, discussions and a talk by a lady who is the owner of a successful business venture. She sounded pretty interesting. She said the way to success is to do hard work and have divine grace and asked us "wouldn't you all agree to that?" Guess who didn't agree to her statement? Me! I said I don't believe divinity is required but hard work alone can help us to achieve success. She must have thought I am some sort of some special case which needed attention and to be handled by mental ward staff. I am a person who doesn't believe in going with the flow like a herd of sheep. Only dead fish moves with the flow. But to my surprise she took it as a genuine objection and explained why she believes in both hard work and divine grace. Later, even I accepted after knowing she wasn't referring divinity as the prevailing superstitions but as things like support and blessings from others. 

Later, we had a group meditation session with music played from a laptop. I was more concerned about the open window above my head where pigeons usually roam around than getting relaxed to the soothing music. But it did felt different to do something as tranquil as meditation among a group. I would definitely recommend you to add it on in your bucket list. Then, we all wrote our fears or worries or something that affects us in a small folded paper bits and put in a metal can in which the facilitator added a burning matchstick. We saw it burning with the gush of scarlet flames. Everyone in the class felt better after seeing their negativity burn away but I was anxious about what if the fire catches up and burns the whole building down? Sometimes I seriously feel my anxiety needs to be replaced by something wonderful but it is part of who I am and I try to embrace it.

The next event was drama rehearsal for the theme "dhaanam" which means “to voluntarily do a good deed by giving” in Tamil. We randomly formed ourselves to be the drama troupe. Few of us came because of interest in drama but most of us came because they were dragged by their friends or to skip the classes. The funny thing was we didn’t skip much of any classes but spent extra time rehearsing. Guess what role I got? I was the beggar in the drama. No, seriously my character in the drama was to beg for food out of hunger and poverty. I had done some drama roles in my past but for some reason I liked this one. Being a beggar and acting like one felt like too much relatable in terms of the fragility of emotions hidden inside me.

So, one day we had a holiday but my faculty wanted to see us give them a trial performance of our drama. No one knew the script fully yet we had to give a fantastic sneak peek for them to approve us to perform on the Post graduate department’s assembly session. I know it sounds super official but all they do is read up about current news, activities and achievements happening in the college along with tinge of entertainment like dance, music or drama. My friend told me she would pick me up from a spot that is walk able to my house on that day. I woke up, got ready, inhaled wisp of fresh air, waved a good bye to my mom and started the day. I was walking until some random guy asks me “what’s the time?” I took my phone and looked in it and told him the time and started putting my step forward to walk again. How nice that day would have been if it was just that which had been happened.

But nope! World is filled with filthy bastards without a fully functioning decency. He asked me again. This time, it was the same question with a different tone. The first time he asked I didn’t see his face but told the time in a hurry and started to move forward. But this time I got annoyed and faced him and was about to tell him “Can’t you hear me or are you deaf?” But to my dismay he had a sly grin and a constant movement of his hand towards his crotch. His zipper was open and he basically flashed his male genitalia. Not more that 40 meters away from my home, I got encountered with such an imbecile’s obscenity. Out of reflex, I said “Are you kidding me?” and walked faster out of that place.

I felt disturbed and wanted to erase this incident out of me. I walked as fast as I can but this brute had to follow me and stop his scooter in front of me. I was scared to hell and it didn’t let me think rationally. He was trying to speak something. I passed by him where he halted and to my surprise I heard him telling sorry but to my dismay he continued to speak about dirty stuff that I needn’t hear for an early start of the day. I thought to myself walk as fast as possible, if he still follows you report him to the traffic police. As soon as I reached the spot that my friend told me to wait at he was nowhere to be seen. At that moment, I was glad that I escaped from his antics.

As soon as my friend’s car came, I pounced inside the car and she noticed something was odd about my behaviour. I told her the whole thing that happened and she told me something similar happened to her too in school days but she was not frightened and she did defended and scared the hell out of such guys. This was the first time I had such an encounter and maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to do anything about it. We reached college, did our rehearsal practice as usual but the day and my mind was on distraught. People appreciated the realism in me as a beggar. I felt like it was more of who I am they were referring to but they all said it was a genuine compliment. You have to believe in your classmate right. I was simply glad I did justice to the character.

I finally told about the nasty incident that I witnessed to my mom and brother. She was raged with anger and told me I should have done something. My brother thought I was kidding about such incident. But both of them understood the point that idiots are around and we need to be careful about it. Whenever I think about it, I sometimes feel like I should have thrown stones or my slipper at him or something. When a mere pretentious incident made me feel so much exploited inside, imagine victims of rape. Their brains would have been loaded with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There is an ardent need for psychiatric help and support from near and dear. I am lucky enough to have an open minded family who listened without any judgements and reviewed this incident modestly. Hope everyone gets such support, help and a person they can share their thoughts to.

(Trust me, the sad event part ends here J)

The day to perform the character (beggar) finally arrived. We all got dressed up. I wore an old, faded white shirt and paired it up with even more old, faded brown coloured dhoti which belonged to my father. Then, I put my plaited hair into a bun and released few strands of hair above my forehead. The magic in my uncontrollable curly hair is that it doesn’t fall. It stays intact in its own weird curly patterns and felt like added advantage for the beggar role and best of all no makeup. I never like wearing makeup other than powder and a bindi (the dot most of the Indian people wear on their forehead or in between their eyebrows). People were astonished by how really I resemble like a beggar both in terms of look and acting. When girls of my age want to act as princesses and female protagonists, I prefer to act whichever role I am given to its level best.

We were checking up the mikes, lights and other technical stuff. Then the assembly began. We sat along with the audience until it was show time for us. The satisfaction is when your audience claps with authentic happiness. The drama ended with a blast. We took hell lots of selfies and my next work began to haunt me. Work - It has no beginning or ending but omnipresent. We had an exhibition on the theme Human Resources. My group’s topic was about competency mapping and as a science student I had no Idea how to present intangible management terms as a visual model. Even though we struggled, we did manage to do it after long hassles and suggestions. On the day of exhibition, we had to present the models and explain it to the visitors. We had a competency related puzzles and riddles which made them more enthusiastic about my group’s topic. I found it as an enriching experience. It’s always a pleasure for me to explain, teach and reach people through what I know.  

My group's exhibition models

I donated my blood for the first time! I know it’s unbelievable for me too. Blood donation camp was organised at my college. They checked my weight and gave a form to be filled. The form contained questions regarding health, hygiene and who I am. I was assigned to a number which they used as reference for sending people inside the room where they tested and took blood for donation. The nurse took a swab of cotton dipped in antiseptic liquid and wiped my forefinger. Then, she pricked it with something that looked like a thumbtack and blood drop oozed. She took a slender transparent thing with small gap in it to collect my blood drop and inserted it into a machine. It gave whirling sound and gave a digital reading about my white blood cells count. She put a cotton ball to the place she pricked and sent to another medical officer to check my blood pressure. I was approved to be fit for donating my blood.

I was then given a glucose solution to drink and was rested in a bed which had a green bed sheet and a pillow to support my head. There were fellow blood donators who were beside me who said it hurt and panic strikes me. I was determined to donate my blood no matter what even after disapproval from my mom. The nurse comes, she took an antiseptic liquid infused swab and cleans the skin of my left elbow joint and inserts a needle which apparently was the scary part for many. But it felt like a mosquito bite for me. This needle is attached to a tube which leads the blood to be collected to a plastic pouch. The pouch is kept above a digital weighing scale. I was given a foam ball in my left hand and told to press it hard and release till the required amount is taken. Most of them felt pain and dizziness but I didn’t. Maybe I am healthy and strong. After the process was over I was given an orange juice, biscuit packet, key chain and a certificate. Felt more proud than painful.

My blood donation certificate!

Sports day celebrations happened. As my college completed 25 years they thought of doing it in a grand way and held it at an enormous sports open stadium. We sat in one place and got snacks and a mango juice. Suddenly they made us to leave and occupy the opposite side of the stadium. So, we had to walk all over the stadium, miss most of the fun part and had to search for seats with less dust. The stage was distant and people were tiny and we understood nothing but we were going to go home late. But the sunset was worth waiting for. The warmth in the sky slowly turned darker. It became night and I had to catch a train with my friends to reach back home.

The enormous sports stadium

Side view of the same ground -  Because why not? Pictures tell thousand words

That mesmerizing sunset at the stadium

College day came up and my mom was happy because it’s the only event parents are invited to attend by my college. We took a bus and reached the place super soon. We waited and waited for the event to begin. Then, we waited and waited for the event to end soon. The chief guest instead of giving a speech she gave a long detailed lecture which further delayed the schedule of the event. The sky was pitch black and the stage lights were so much focused over the audience my eyes began to dry up. Few of the students rebelled to the gate to go home soon. I stayed till the event finish as I couldn’t find my mom in the parent’s crowd and didn’t want to disturb her to the only college event she got invited to. Later she confessed to me we should have left earlier.

See! That's how intense the lights were. If you were an event organiser or by chance are in-charge of stage lights please consider my request of not flashing high beams of lights towards the audience who might eventually get glaucoma from it. Thank you.

Senior’s farewell arrived. Usually it is not a custom to do it at Post graduate level but I guess anything is possible in a class I belong to. I didn’t even knew half of my seniors to whom we paid hefty amount for a place where we were going to dress up, play games and eat food. Sounds like childhood memories. I guess we never grow up but only get older and better. We danced like there was no tomorrow and the next day I became sick. Guess that’s what happens to an introvert who tries the joys of an extrovert. After the farewell, I reached the bus stop and sat beside a school kid. She smiled and I smiled back. We spoke about Chennai, my college, her school, summer, weather, global warming, education, etc. We both took the same bus, she got her stop sooner. She waved her hand at me as a goodbye. I had this spontaneous warm smile and gave a little wave as a bye. More than the spent farewell to unknown college senior acquaintances, this small conversation with a little girl felt more worth it. Children do have captivating magic which can’t be bought or compared with anything in the world.

My Undergraduate classmate wedding reception invite came. It was my chance to meet my most cherished possession - My buddies. Thankfully or coincidently they have same thinking and interests as I do. Nothing is as exquisite as meeting the people who thinks alike. I reached the venue sooner than I thought. Few couldn’t make it but most of them came. We were having great joy and smiles as we met after a long time. It was as if the smiles were glued to our faces. We spoke about our lives, the bride, reception and all. As the crowd was more and we “girls” have to return home as soon as possible, we headed towards the dining part first. We went and saw people eating meat and Non-vegetarian foods. My vegetarian friends got a shock of their lives. Then, it turns out that there is a separate vegetarian section outside the hall. We ate all ate vegetarian food. Well all did eating but I was blabbering instead. We got our return gifts as soon as we finished eating. The funny thing is we haven’t even met and took pictures with the bride yet. Couple of kids were dancing to the music offstage. We queued up to take a picture and wish the bride and go home. The photographers took a while to take angle shots, panoramic shots and full group pictures of us on the stage with the bride. We were grinning all the time and it felt awkward to stand on a stage and grin towards seated strangers.

Like I said, it was as eventful as it gets! 

If you had read fully till now, it means you are an awesome and patient reader. Kudos to you and happy Tamil new year!!

இனிய தமிழ் புத்தாண்டு வாழ்த்துக்கள்!!

Things and their prominence

From my childhood, I was always attached more to inanimate objects than people. I used to play with things, sometimes it gets broken and I try to repair it and eventually get scolded for it. Also I could not get the heart to throw them away as trash which the adults deem it to be useless and broken. At a very young age I thought each thing has a purpose and can be utilized if we put our creativity and imagination into it. I still do. Whenever I visit shops as a kid, I always get tempted to touch every thing decked on the shelves. I get so fascinated and curious to know what each product can do and how. I wish such enthusiastic curiosity was still alive in many of us who moved on from our true innocent self that we possessed when we were kids. We used to be brave enough to explore and exploit everything we saw. Eventually life happened, we leveled up and unlocked new challenges.

For me each thing I own has a great significant meaning behind it and I believe everyone has one special thing with them that is so close to them too. Certain things reminds us of a memory, certain things makes us feel happy, certain things helps us cope with life or even a part of our life and reasons for the things we own can be a long list. For me one of such thing is my laptop. We are inseparable duo. Actually, I like my laptop better when there is good wifi signal. But still I learnt how much it means to me only when it got broken recently. I kept it on the chair and went to college. When I came back home, I took out my laptop out of it's bag, saw a crack on the screen and when I turned it on it gave me a plain blank white light all over the display. The torture of seeing your laptop not working anymore is horrific to know. 

When it happened, I was not in my sane self. My routine got crashed and I could not submit any College assignments properly which is a big deal for me. I consider myself an Introvert and I tend to be scared to ask help from friends. Even a midget amount of help makes me feel like I am taking advantage of that person who is helping me. I could never be satisfied by a work that was not done by me which was related or referred to me. So, I got sick with cold for a while. Whenever something happens to something so much dear to me, I tend to fall sick and depressed. I felt like a warrior at a war whose weapon got broken. My weapon to survive my life was my laptop. So, it took me a long while to sink in the thought that my laptop got broken and I really need to get it repaired. 

After many days and few powerful inputs from my mom I prepared to get it repaired. Usually for any small malfunctions we used to go to the shop which sold us this laptop I own. But they treated us like some nomadic people rather than customers and that place is situated far away from my home. My mom suggested she saw a laptop service center near my home and I was doubtful about her memory. I asked her whether she saw mobile shop or really a shop which services laptops. She was determined and that's how the journey of my laptop began. We walked together. Passed through a heavily crowded temple where the devotees are so dedicated they don't want to enter the temple premises but to block the footpath present in the temple entrance. How devotional and considerate of them. So, we passed through this and arrived at the shop my mom mentioned. I could interpret it was a mobile sales shop but my mom was persistent.

We entered and asked whether they service laptops. Turns out they don't and guess what they do. They sell mobiles. But the shopkeeper mentioned there is a laptop service center in the basement of the building. It turns out to be the shop which I frequently visit to get xerox, print out and spiral binding. So, I gave him my laptop and I was not having the courage or knowledge to describe the exact problem. So, He checks it out and tells us that it can be repaired. We were so happy until he said that would cost us around 4000 rupees. We came back home. Also there is demonetization happening in India which made my case even worse. To get money from banks and ATM there is a huge queue and hell lot of waiting time. My mom saw me suffering without laptop and she did went out to get money from the bank the next day. Mothers are the best and I am so gifted to have her in my life. The next day, we went again and gave the laptop for servicing and left in a rush. I can't bear the thought of leaving my laptop in the hands of anyone other than me. It means a lot to to me.

After that day I was informed that my Laptop got repaired. I dressed up, took cash from mom and rushed as soon as possible. My brother accompanied me this time. I saw my laptop and asked him did he put a new screen and he replied yes ma'am with a judgmental look. It was like as if my laptop has recovered and discharged from it's ICU. We paid him 4300 rupees and I demanded  for a bill. He made us wait to get a bill which he was making from scratch. But it was worth it. It took me a day to use it again. As if it was some sort of fragile piece of art. My laptop is the best thing that happened to my life so far and it remains to be my best buddy till date. Some things are valuable to us and people realize it when they are on the verge of losing it. It's nice to have that something in our life that rejuvenates us to live. 

Finale of October'16

October must be one weird month. It started off very differently and ended with lots of elements of life. In my previous blog, I mentioned about how it started, now will be providing you with the details of it's climax. Till 25th October I was having a combination of study holidays and exams. I always try to study as late as possible because of my horrendous memory. I might be a victim to amnesia or I might be hallucinating about it whatsoever this method has always been working out for me. So, after 25th I was having semester holidays and Deepavali holidays. 

Oct 26, 2016: Beginning of holidays

Finally, exams got over and I wanted to relax a bit so slept for a long time and woke up late. I woke up to see too many messages in my phone. I might have slight symptoms of Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) towards messages. I tend to check all the messages without fail. It seems my department assigned my class to finish a survey about soaps and shampoos. That too 5 filled surveys in both category which means I had to sacrifice my precious day by dedicating myself to fill the survey and request other people to fill it and send it back to my class leader. Now that's what I got in the name of holiday. But, certain duties even though it is useless for us to do; we need to fulfill it and forgo our holiday spirits. I couldn't believe survey filling can consume a whole day.

Oct 27, 2016: Bus ticket booking

Second day of the holidays. I thought to myself no more work and responsibilities, lets enjoy it to the fullest. But life has it's own will to destroy our peace of mind. I got immediate another task for the day. *Poof* The so called second holiday was gone with the wind within minutes. Life can be demanding at times.

My aunt who is an elder sister to my mom came to India from U.S. to visit my grandma who resides at my native place. So, my mom also wanted to pay a visit to them. So, she asked me to accompany her to book a ticket. We walked near the bus stop and took a bus to C.M.B.T. (Chennai Moffusil Bus Terminal) in Koyembedu. It is known as the biggest bus terminal in Asia according to Internet sources.  We arrive at C.M.B.T. and walk towards the ticket booking center. Due to fast approaching Deepavali festival, Tamil Nadu government has added additional buses for the public convenience to visit their hometowns which I presume. My native is in Andhra which means an other state of India so the ticket booking booth was far away from the entrance. We walked and saw couple of help desks that has been set up temporarily, buses that is routed to different places some of which I have never heard of before, and finally we reach our booth.

The kiosk was a filthy room that was opposite to a toilet. A lady was seated inside that cubicle who provides Information and tickets regarding Andhra Pradesh Government Buses. She was seen through a hole provided in a grimy glass window secured by equally grimy metal bars. It was extremely inconvenient for my mom to converse with her to book a ticket. But eventually we booked a ticket after my mom interrogated her with lots of possible and impossible questions. We finished our ticket booking and were walking back to the entrance and suddenly my mom reminded of us being alone and hungry while she is away and wanted to buy some biscuits. She spotted a store and started interrogating that vendor about the rates and prices of the biscuits. I am a person who hates spending money unnecessarily and if I really wanted something; I do a hefty amount of thought processing before really purchasing anything. Meanwhile, my mother is completely opposite to me. She buys immediately if she wishes to buy something without giving it a thought..

Later, she was not satisfied by the choices in the store and left. I felt terrible for the guy who responded all the questions to my mom and she just left without buying anything. When I told her about her behaviour she just denied it by saying its his duty to serve customers and our choice to whether purchase or not. Most of the parents, especially my mom has a way of making flawless legit points. Then, she got reminded of something again and I was already drowsy from lack of sleep and wanted to go home as soon as possible. She forgot to book her return ticket to Chennai. We walked again to the same kiosk and went through same ticket booking process again. We finally accomplished booking our tickets and took a bus home.

I still had some more time of the day to spend meaningfully. So, I watched few episodes of Korean dramas and read a book. My advice to you all: Spend each ounce of time towards what interests you. Never spend your time on boring activities because wasted time can never be regained. At the same time stop worrying about wasting time and be grateful for what our life has to offer.

Oct 28, 2016: Mom vanishes from home

My mom kept on reminding me what to do and what not to do while she was away. She prepared extra amounts of food and told us to eat it whenever we were hungry. She took her luggage and was stating she was going. We said bye. She came again and repeated the same for a few times and we got annoyed and said just go and reach the bus stop on time. She made an on purpose faux frown and went off. My brother and I were immediately got glued to our gadgets. The day for some reason felt relaxing at first but was never ending. Usually my mom is a constant chatterbox in better terms she's a garrulous person. She never stops nagging and always find ways to express all the faults in the world with the people who are dear to her. Life usually goes a bit fast forward when she's in the house. That moment we felt what happens in her absence. Its probably nothing but something that make us to feel a bit missing without the presence of a particular thing.

Oct 29, 2016: Very important day

It's the day my brother was born and its the day the auspicious festival Deepavali was celebrated in the year 2016. Some say it is Diwali, some say it is Deepavali, but I assume most of the people like me says it's a beautiful holiday. Morning was filled with cracker sounds which I strongly detest. Many of us know it is festival of lights not sounds. My dad wanted us to be well fed while my mom was away and asked us for our breakfast choices and I said I was not hungry and he didn't even gave a thought to my opinion. I have a habit of eating less in the morning and more in the evening. But for some reason my family can't understand my body's hunger timings and ends up feeding me more or starving me more at times. Meanwhile, my brother has this amazing talent of tolerating people. He just blurted out "anything is fine".

That's how I ended up eating two large dosas, one oily poori and a bangle sized vada. Accompanied by coconut chutney, tomato chutney, sambhar and a potato side dish. I ate all those just because my dad was insistent and was watching over us finish eating all the foods he proudly bought to fulfill my hunger-less stomach. Everyone who knows me very well knows how meticulously I eat. I am well known for my eating styles and habits. I was both appreciated and criticized for my eating decisions by everyone I knew till now. Everyone are different and people just can't accept a person having a different eating pattern.

Usually the TV channels show good choice of films to watch. This time films shown were boring and repeated ones. My phone buzzed with Deepavali wishes. I was wishing them back. I got something even special on this day - The cold. I got sick and was sneezing more than the times I was breathing. We ate noodles for lunch. Anything warm can make a cold person be at ease. The warm soupy instant noodles soothed me for a while. Later, I scribbled some patterns with chalk pieces in the name of kolam on the floor. Then, I finished a series of Korean drama and it became night. We were watching discreetly at the fireworks which the tenants were bursting.

Mom arrives and starts talking about her arrival confusion. I did miss her nagging but sometimes I hope she realizes the preciousness of silence.

Oct 30, 2016: Usual routine holiday

Mom was back. My aunt gifted us with lots of goodies. We ate foreign biscuits and chocolates. Mom started her work of annoying us with her blabber. We distracted ourselves with the help of Internet. The day ended but my cold didn't.

Oct 31, 2016: Sleep deprived and lots more worse stuff

I was carefree and sleeping in the bed without any worries other than my cold. I am woken up by my mom. I saw glass shattered all over the hall, broken cupboard and a my brother with his bleeding wrists. I immediately brush my teeth, change my clothes and rush over to a medical shop. There was another customer who came prior to me and was taking her own time to decide what to purchase. So, I started looking upon all the medicines and other things arranged in the shop. She leaves and I blurt out what I need in lightning speed. The cashier/store representative got confused and I repeated each item slowly. She showed the things I needed and started tapping buttons of the keyboard to prepare the bill. I paid, took the things that I purchased and left as quickly as possible.

My mom dabbed a chunk of cotton with the antiseptic liquid and rubbed it over my brother's bruises. She made sure to advice him constantly with each rub. Then his bruises were covered with band aids. Till this moment I was clueless about what was going on. When I asked about it, My mom started crying. She cries rarely and started telling philosophy with regards to parenting. The reason was my brother missed his college bus and came home. He had an important test on that day and was ready to bunk it. This made my mom angry and to yell at him. Eventually he wanted my mom to stop talking and tried to hit the wall. Instead his arm hits the glass panel of the cupboard nearby and that explains how the hall was looking like a crime scene in the morning. My mom made an enquiry with his college faculty and made him to go to college by other buses. He was reluctant at first but agreed eventually. I was sent along with him to make sure he gets into a bus.

I came back home which was having power cut. How unpredictable life can be? Any irrelevant incident can become relevantly influential towards our life. I took headphones, my phone and headed towards the bamboo swing that is hung at the entrance of the house. I Listened to radio, passed time by swinging and waited for the current to comeback.

That's how October 2016 ended for me!

Horrible way to spend weekend!

Every college life is unfulfilled without assignments. Some assignments can be interesting but some are awfully tiring. Recently my class was split into four groups to organize an event to learn about event management. We had been planning, visualizing, rehearsing and working on our event assignment for a while. Social media apps can be a headache especially the group created always fights in the chat instead of discussing. Especially, the super annoying voice message option. My group thought of meeting near my college to finish or have some progress in our event assignment. One of my group members told me she will pick me up at a specific place. 

So, I was waiting at the place my friend mentioned for her to pick me up. I got bored and I leaned on to a black wall of a closed shop and waiting for my friend's call to know that she has arrived at the spot. I took headphones and was listening to radio. Some random guy who looked a bit illiterate started accusing me of standing in the middle of the footpath and was having the facial expression as if he has seen some offender. Logic wise I was far away from footpath and literally standing at the premises of a closed shop. No one had a problem suddenly this random guy passed some lewd comments on me and went off before I could talk. Irony was a traffic police officer was right in front of me and was least bothered about what is happening to the people around him. 

I was glad that was not some sort of molestation, rape or any other such incident. But I felt mentally naked by allowing that random guy's accusations enter into my head and spoil the day. If I did nothing wrong why should I be worried and feel sad? Lots of questions buzzed in my head. A mere senseless comment made me to consider not stepping outside the house again. I wondered how many women around the world being affected by this? Suddenly my friend came and picked me up. We spoke about the event details and I forgot about that horrible incident. The event which we were doing was about post wedding reception. We were preparing props, decor, songs, dance moves, skit, and much more. We all became tired and thought of going home as important things are finished. The place was drizzling with raindrops. 

We were also assigned to bring sponsorship for my department's Intercollegiate and Conference for which deadline was Monday. I was worried I didn't get any sponsors yet so I went out with my friend to explore and grab at least one sponsor. We roamed throughout the offices of nungambakkam and came to the conclusion that on Saturday most people won't be present at offices and many are not interested in sponsoring to people who are not in their target segment. I was sad, tired, and sleepy and was in a hurry to return back to my friend who told me she will drop me near my home. While crossing the road, a bike Tyre went over my toes of my feet. The signal was red and that bike should have stopped but due to his negligence I may have been dead yesterday (27/08/2016). I was in statue mode, my friend who was beside me dragged me out of the place and we were walking again normally. We said our good bye and I reached home safely. 

I always tell whatever incidents happening in my life to my mom even though I clearly know she broadcasts about it and even exaggerates about it with others. I told how in the morning that guy emotionally and mentally screwed me and how I escaped a Hip replacement surgery in the evening. She started telling me idiots are there but I should have been more careful. And she told about this to my dad immediately and I regretted telling about it to my mom. My dad who did not listened to the whole story started accusing me that I should not obstruct footpaths and cross carefully. I cried. I cried till my eyes became dry and red. I was sad that no one was there for us to express our grief without being judged. 

Independence day!

August 15th 1947, India's independence day! Every Indian kid is saturated with this info from childhood. The most horrifying dialogue for some or hilarious one for me is from our national pledge "All Indians are my brothers and sisters" for some reason it sounds funny for me. 

During my school days, we hope for it to be an holiday but our parents and the school people made us to attend the event relating to the independence celebrations. Irony is there is no freedom to not attend the event which celebrates our freedom. We dress up, pin the tiny tricolour paper flag to our uniform, stand in rows and columns according to the class we belong to under the beautiful scorching sunshine waiting for the chief guest to magically appear soon. During the wait there is this unexplained joy of gossiping with our peers which I guess us millennials crave a lot more than nowadays tech addicted children. 

When the chief guest finally arrives, there is this great faux cheerful vibe and epic long speeches which reminds us it is just same old  lecture in different surroundings. The flag is hoisted by the chief guest, rose petals fall on the ground, crows scream, sunlight still roasting our skins and finally the speech by chief guest ends. We get to sit on the floor to watch cultural events performed by our schoolmates. There will be dance, music, dramas and even karate. Even though teachers shush us we still cheer whenever our besties perform on the stage. That pure innocence of our childhood to cheer for our friends is nothing compared to any philosophical quote I have seen so far. 

Then after all the events gets over, its time for vote of thanks. We need to get up from our sitting cross legged for a long time and blood gushes through the legs as soon as we get up. Some get slight pains, some get up flawlessly, some struggle to get up and I get weird snapping sounds like when fingers are folded and snapped to get a relief and also I get that sensation of standing over million pins underneath my heel. After vote of thanks, the national anthem is played in the speakers. Some listen patiently, some prove their singing skills, and I lip sync to the song with an expression of a professional actress. The most favorite moment of events for a kid like me was the chocolate given after the end of the event. So, that's the routine/drill followed during independence day throughout my school days. 

This year it was different for me. 

I wore a light green kurta paired with blue jeans, orange infused with white coloured earrings and a small palm sized black sling bag. I walked towards the bus stop and if you had read my previous blogs you must be knowing the fate of mine with buses. I was about to cross the road and my precious bus went by crossing far away from me in front of my eyes. The feel of eternal waiting for another bus to come is a pitiable thing to do. Especially for a person (me) who can't sit in one place and do nothing for more than an hour. I waited for a while, bunch of school kids were beside me dressed up in white and playing and giggling with each other. I saw a person taking his dog for a walk, the dog was adorable by the way. But still however I try to distract myself from the idea of waiting for long was not working out. I started fidgeting my fingers as if I am playing some musical instrument. Thank god the wait lasted for 15 minutes and i got into a bus. It was free of crowds, I got seated, the breeze passed inside the bus and felt like a luxury. 

The bus was as slow as possible. I reached late and did this fast walking on the pathway. Suddenly when i have to cross the road, an auto stops in front of me. Inside the auto was my friend, her mom and her sister. She told me to hop on and we went straight to college. Happiness are these small gestures that makes us believe in humanity. We waved our good byes to her mom and sister and did the rhythmic speed walking to the college entrance. Already we are using our hal-sleepy, tired bodies to walk fast and the students who are in charge of the event instructing us to walk even more faster and go inside, its late. The reasonable thing is to give a tired or annoyed look but something about this friendship that made us to laugh till we reached the gate.

We split to stand towards the our respective class queues. The chief  guest arrives and good thing about my college is they make everything short and sweet. I believed that would happen until i discovered that the chief guest is a living Wikipedia in human form. She talked, talked for so long that we started talking with our peers. The speech ended, a few girls sang patriotic songs, a girl orated about independence in Hindi and vote of thanks was done. The best part was that we were also invited for alumni meet on the same day. I met with my classmates, took pictures, went to our UG department faculty, ate the complimentary breakfast and the meet was over. That's it? So, we planned of making our reunion more memorable. 

We walked, discussed where to go and were confused where to go. After a long roaming and brainstorming, we thought of going to semozhi poonga. It is this spacious green park in Chennai. So, we take an auto and reach this park. We take tickets for us and I take pictures of the place. They were walking and i was stopping by to take picture of the flora. I am a big nature admirer. Finally they sat in a place where we talk about our past, present and future plans. It was making me feel old and young at the same time. Then we walked towards the kids play area and each of us sat in swings and talked. Some went to buy something to eat and drink. Some of us thought of making a trip to somewhere outside Chennai as a group. And some were running out of time to reach their homes. I was enjoying the swing. Maybe this is how freedom feels like. It was one memorable Independence day.

Swinging with my besties!

Men's formal wear shopping!

My brother is currently writing his 12th public exam and I am also in my final year of my college which means double pressure on my parents to join us into a good college. As somewhat experienced into women's college environment for 3 years I knew what to expect and what not to expect from an educational institute. But my brother who is normally least bothered about anything in the world showed same attitude towards his studies. The choosing duty of his career path went to my parents who finalised it is computer engineering. My father with the help of his friend went to the engineering institution for admission where his son is studying. My brother also tagged along with them while I was at my college writing my final last semester exams.

It seems the college is very strict where they give an entry slip to go inside, complete security check, entry not allowed if the person is not wearing formals. Jeans, t-shirt and a list of things which are prohibited even for parents and visitors it seems. Whoa! Well colleges like that exist. So, my brother was not allowed to enter the campus as he was wearing jeans and waited in a room while my dad and his friend went inside the campus. They enquired about admission details, rules, regulations, and many more and ate chicken biryani while my brother the poor fellow who got stuck near the reception because of not wearing a formal wears. Again regarding admission for my brother my father planned to visit the campus tomorrow along with me, my mom and my brother to see the extravagant campus which treats people like refugees. Well hope it was not as horrible as my brother described it.

Today, we went for shopping to get formal wear for my brother. I was hesitant as I felt what I would do in a men's section while my brother is deciding which one to buy? But Indian parents are very talented and skilled at how to drag their children into things which are irrelevant. So, that's how I ended up at a tall building consisting seven floors at T.nagar for shopping. We went inside and saw too much crowd near the lift. So, we decided to climb the stairs. So many stairs and so little energy left in me; I got exhausted. Trust me Sunday evening at T.nagar for shopping that too in a store which offers low price rates means a pool of crowds. We went to men's section. As I said even if apocalypse occurs, my brother is least bothered. Likewise, he wasn't even bothered to know his garment preferences.

The sales person took a measuring tape and said a particular size while my dad was looking at himself in the mirror and blabbering to himself that he is becoming fat. Then, suddenly my dad added two more inches to the size mentioned by the salesman and laughed that my brother will also become fat like him in future. Well if it was me I would be showing embarrassed look up to the extent where I would have picked random some dress, purchased it and left the venue. But it was my brother he was cool as a cucumber. My dad suddenly got too excited and asked us to look into the shirt sizes he directed us to look upon. He also made it mandatory for us to select 2 shirts for my brother. I was already getting awkward vibes being in the men's garment section. To top the weirdness my parents were battling to prove that their selected shirt was the best. And me stuck there forced to pick 2 shirts of my own choice which I won't be wearing. Later, my brother picked three shirts from the provided options from us.

Whew! Finally can go home and enjoy my Sunday! Nope fate had another plan. My dad was like "Now let's go get your brother some pants." Hell! Selecting pants are pure hell! The formal pants section basically had the colour palette of black and white movies. And here I am stuck again forced to pick two pants which has no usage to me. I gave up and waited. My brother went to trial room and showed up the fitting of the pant to my dad while I was stuck up with my mom in men's pants section. My mom was explaining (criticizing) about the way our new tenants behaving, dad's financial loss, Chennai floods, politics, and many more topics which I dreaded hard not to know about. Yet who does our parent can talk to other than their beloved children.

Finally, the selection of formal wear got over and we purchased it. Now, they got remembered about buying a belt. (Face palm) They must have realized how I felt or I must have looked like a zombie they asked me to wait in a corner while they search and buy a perfect belt for my brother. I sat in a chair while they got vanished into the crowd who are on a shopping spree. A toddler was sitting beside me. The kid was too active she drooled, ran in circles and kept on hitting her head towards her mother's knee. It was kind of hilarious to watch. I missed the kid in me. The kid who used to be crazy, who cooked using torn newspaper pieces, who took a chalk piece and felt like Picasso, who took mom's dupatta and felt like a elite woman, who took a notepad and felt like supervisor, who took two drumsticks and felt like a musician, who thought the backdoor of the house was a secret pathway to spies, who was innocent, curious and enthusiastic in the name of passing time. After a while my dad said "Boo!" and I got a sudden stimuli. They arrived and at last we reached home. That's how my shopping experience for the day ended.

The So called "happy ending!"

It's been almost a month I have last blogged. Wow! A mixture of highs and lows happened in such a short period of time for me.

Brief info of the happenings ~ First I presented a poster about my research at a national conference and won best presentation award. Then, we had farewell from the juniors, last ethnic day, last class assignment, last class presentation, last project submission, last college day event, last lab classes, last class lectures and finally my last day at college ended at 14th march 2016. I also attended my first official interview at an eminent college for MBA and hope I get a positive response.

So final year has happily ended but I still have semester exams to finish during last week of March until then I am temporarily freed from my college. I have experienced happiness, sorrow, jealousy, fights, stress, boredom, separation, desperation, headaches, and so many other things of which I saw in fast forward mode during last few days of my college life.

• The conference I attended was at Madras veterinary college which was situated in Vepery, Chennai. My friends were so nice to give me a lift to the place without any hesitation. I was so lucky to see so many pets and it was a heaven for me to see so many cute creatures. They are non-judgmental at the same time each pet has its own characteristic style and behaviour. I admired them. I and my classmates expected the conference was about food but all that was shown, presented, researched, and spoke was only about meat industry. We saw ethical ways to kill meat, different images of meat and some of my vegetarian friends were in disgust seeing those images. Even though the price to attend the conference was above 1000 rupees which is technically too much for a middle class student like me but I think it’s okay for something that can't be bought anywhere i.e. hanging out with besties. By the way I got a bag, pouch, key chain, stationery items, fancy designer green umbrella and a book in which my research abstract was published. When the speaker was saying animals don't feel much pain I made a sly joke that even it has kidney and heart like we do in hushed tone. My besties heard my words and could not hold their laughter and that also made me to laugh out loud but I tried to hold my laughter as much as possible. The Day 1 of the conference I presented my poster and attended the sessions.  Later, the day was becoming night so my friends did not let me go home alone. I visited my friend's place and aunty insisted me to eat. So I eventually gave up and ate a delicious crispy murruku (Indian fried snack) and drank a cup of Brahmin aathu kaapi (the coffee made by Brahmin people). I and other friend were waiting for her mom to pick us up. Then, my friend’s mom and her sister came. She and my Brahmin friend's family discussed a big discussion on the future education of their daughters and I was very tired and desperate to reach home and sleep. I was envy of my friend's sister who was happily skipping and was not involved into such an intense topic by the elders. They finally wrapped up their talks and decided to leave. Out of nowhere my friend suddenly gets reminded of the shawarma promise she made to me long ago and made her mom to stop at an Arabic cuisine restaurant and buy me a shawarma. I waited in the car while aunty went and bought a shawarma for me and their daughters. I was too happy for getting a delicious food that I have been craving for a long time. They left me at my home and said good bye. I went straight into kitchen, took a knife cut the shawarma into 3 pieces for my mom, my brother and one piece for me to devour it's glorious flavour on my taste buds. It wasn't that tasty as I expected because it was too bland and filled with too less veggies and mayonnaise. My personal preference would be spicy, tandoor style chicken pieces with lots of fresh cut veggies, succulent amount of mayonnaise with neatly cooked roti. But still it is a caring gift from a dear friend which made it extra special regardless of its taste. On Day 2 they delayed like anything with elaborate presentations and at last announcement of winners initiated. The names of my best friends were announced and I was overwhelming with joy and clapped till my palm hurt and reddened. Then immediately my name was announced. My mind was like it's definitely a delusion, things like this can never happen to an unpopular, lame person like me or this must be a weird dream they must be some mistake. The people beside me were started staring at me and I felt vibes of jealousy, judgmental look indicating their thoughts like how could a person like me getting an award? But most of them stared plainly which reminded me to get the hell up from my chair and receive my accomplishment. I walked.... nope I ran like a deer jumping over obstacles like chairs, bags, people and finally reached the place to receive my only proud accomplishment in college life. My heart was beating to its full extent like I was experiencing a bungee jump. The prize was a torch light with 3 batteries. But proving certain people wrong and achieving something that people believed in you is the best gift I got that day. 
• Ethnic day was the next big thing in the recent events. It is the day when everyone in the college wears ethnic wear mostly sarees. I wore an orangish red saree with maroon border and gold zari work from my mom's wardrobe. That was the only saree that was proper without any leaching of colour from the floods. I then accessorized it with black beaded magnet necklace, gold coloured bangles and a golden earrings studded with maroon gems. I went on the street in this attire which was an unusual sight for most of the neighbours. I walked till the bus stop and prayed that the bus would be less crowded but fate always get tempted to test my abilities. I ended up taking the extremely crowded bus. I kept one hand to a metal rod and other one into my purse which I was holding with my mouth to get a ticket. I hung near the foot board for while then slowly went into the middle section of the bus in a haphazard manner. I finally got down from the bus and gave a secret pat to myself for surviving such a crowded bus that too in a saree. I reached college and saw everyone were arranging their pleats of the saree, some taking selfies, some were putting make up on their friend's faces and some just admired the moment like me. Then I also joined them to take some pictures in saree and had a beautiful day to remember forever.

• After that came the special gala event for every final year student from their juniors - The farewell! The invite came as a surprise during the class hours. It was a woven basket containing beautiful LED light arrangement along with seashells, decorative flowers, non-alcoholic Pomegranate juice in a fancy corked bottle and a beautiful card with blue ribbon to it. The card had the details of the theme, venue, date and timings for us. The theme was "50 Shades of Blue!" and most of us were only having our wardrobes dominated by shades of pink, black and white. The plans to shop new dress evolved and the hunt for a gorgeous blue dress was on everyone's mind. And for me no new dress because of various reasons. So I ended up going in a kurta and legging. I did pack a black and white striped dress that was gifted to me by my besties during my birthday. I came 15 minutes earlier that the time specified. The juniors were the people who expected us to reach 1 hour late than the specified time. I went to prep up for the occasion in the change room. I asked if they needed any help but they denied the offer, then I roamed the hall, and finally waited for my classmates like a little pup waiting for its owner to come home. Then slowly few people showed up and it became a crowd and filled the hall. They didn't kept the A.C. on which made us to sweat a lot and I was craving for some fresh cool air like a zombie craving for human flesh. We took lots of pictures, played games, ate food which was not as delicious as the reviews of the hotel, saw a video of ourselves and our alma mater which got us emotional about leaving some of our prized possessions - Our friends. We had a group hug and a group photo. The farewell gift was something we all will never forget it was a calendar with our group photo on the cover and a picture and birthday of each classmate on each month. This gift was the best part of the farewell.
• My last class assignment using a PowerPoint presentation went so well that the teacher could not believe her own eyes and enquired me in front of the whole class whether I put my own effort and made it or downloaded it somewhere from the internet. The truth is I was so impatient with the too long wait because my name which starts with the letter “S” and I had a long queue of people i.e. my classmates to be presenting before my turn comes. So, I was adding pictures and extra information into it in the mean time and surprised everyone or I am just that unbelievably talented at presentations.
• We spent last few days of our college life by wearing colour coded days. We wore combinations of red and black, blue and green, orange and yellow and final day was twin dressing. It was very fun to dress up for a purpose.
• The final day of the college arrived and everyone were scribbling on each other’s lab coats for their memories to be remembered forever. Some brought slam books and were immersed into it. So, that’s what happening in the last few days of my life hope to see more such wonderful experiences in future. The end to my college life! Or the beginning to a new journey of my life!