As eventful as it gets!

(A mixture of emotions ahead! Please don't hate me for writing sad events along with much more beautiful ones in this blog)

I had too many events that crammed within these past two and a half months. Even though I had enough time.... No! I had plenty of time to write about all those events, but one event shook me to the realities of disgusting senseless creatures. It happened during February which bothered me and made me think and think so much that I wasn't able be my normal self for a few days. I usually try to convey whatever happened in my life so far with as much optimism as possible, but this one I wasn't able to comprehend it in the same way. One unnecessary incident made me to delay to write about other much more important events of my life. I thought to myself "Should I seriously need to consider writing about it? Or should I just forget like it never happened?" But today I decided I wanted it to be out of my mind and to help the good people out there to be more careful and less precarious to prevent such an ordeal that I had been gone through. 

The events:

We had a wonderful session on counselling for personal effectiveness at my college. I know fancy name but all we discussed was about more important stuff like self, society, meditation, relationships and much more. We had an activity where we had to speak about the woman that inspires us. Most of my classmates ended up telling that the person who inspires them was their own mothers. I can't deny the fact that mothers are indeed inspiring but it felt too cliché. They spoke speeches bigger than their exam answer sheets. Lots of them cried either before or after telling about the struggles their mothers endured. But my individuality overflows through my character that I always ended up as an odd one out in the crowd. I am admired for the same reason yet left alone by others for the same. Guess whom I spoke about? Mother Teresa and Anne Frank! Truth is I really don't have any particular woman in my life who inspires me but many women who uplift me with their wits, wisdom, blessings, knowledge, smiles, etc. 

The session continued with lots of presentations, discussions and a talk by a lady who is the owner of a successful business venture. She sounded pretty interesting. She said the way to success is to do hard work and have divine grace and asked us "wouldn't you all agree to that?" Guess who didn't agree to her statement? Me! I said I don't believe divinity is required but hard work alone can help us to achieve success. She must have thought I am some sort of some special case which needed attention and to be handled by mental ward staff. I am a person who doesn't believe in going with the flow like a herd of sheep. Only dead fish moves with the flow. But to my surprise she took it as a genuine objection and explained why she believes in both hard work and divine grace. Later, even I accepted after knowing she wasn't referring divinity as the prevailing superstitions but as things like support and blessings from others. 

Later, we had a group meditation session with music played from a laptop. I was more concerned about the open window above my head where pigeons usually roam around than getting relaxed to the soothing music. But it did felt different to do something as tranquil as meditation among a group. I would definitely recommend you to add it on in your bucket list. Then, we all wrote our fears or worries or something that affects us in a small folded paper bits and put in a metal can in which the facilitator added a burning matchstick. We saw it burning with the gush of scarlet flames. Everyone in the class felt better after seeing their negativity burn away but I was anxious about what if the fire catches up and burns the whole building down? Sometimes I seriously feel my anxiety needs to be replaced by something wonderful but it is part of who I am and I try to embrace it.

The next event was drama rehearsal for the theme "dhaanam" which means “to voluntarily do a good deed by giving” in Tamil. We randomly formed ourselves to be the drama troupe. Few of us came because of interest in drama but most of us came because they were dragged by their friends or to skip the classes. The funny thing was we didn’t skip much of any classes but spent extra time rehearsing. Guess what role I got? I was the beggar in the drama. No, seriously my character in the drama was to beg for food out of hunger and poverty. I had done some drama roles in my past but for some reason I liked this one. Being a beggar and acting like one felt like too much relatable in terms of the fragility of emotions hidden inside me.

So, one day we had a holiday but my faculty wanted to see us give them a trial performance of our drama. No one knew the script fully yet we had to give a fantastic sneak peek for them to approve us to perform on the Post graduate department’s assembly session. I know it sounds super official but all they do is read up about current news, activities and achievements happening in the college along with tinge of entertainment like dance, music or drama. My friend told me she would pick me up from a spot that is walk able to my house on that day. I woke up, got ready, inhaled wisp of fresh air, waved a good bye to my mom and started the day. I was walking until some random guy asks me “what’s the time?” I took my phone and looked in it and told him the time and started putting my step forward to walk again. How nice that day would have been if it was just that which had been happened.

But nope! World is filled with filthy bastards without a fully functioning decency. He asked me again. This time, it was the same question with a different tone. The first time he asked I didn’t see his face but told the time in a hurry and started to move forward. But this time I got annoyed and faced him and was about to tell him “Can’t you hear me or are you deaf?” But to my dismay he had a sly grin and a constant movement of his hand towards his crotch. His zipper was open and he basically flashed his male genitalia. Not more that 40 meters away from my home, I got encountered with such an imbecile’s obscenity. Out of reflex, I said “Are you kidding me?” and walked faster out of that place.

I felt disturbed and wanted to erase this incident out of me. I walked as fast as I can but this brute had to follow me and stop his scooter in front of me. I was scared to hell and it didn’t let me think rationally. He was trying to speak something. I passed by him where he halted and to my surprise I heard him telling sorry but to my dismay he continued to speak about dirty stuff that I needn’t hear for an early start of the day. I thought to myself walk as fast as possible, if he still follows you report him to the traffic police. As soon as I reached the spot that my friend told me to wait at he was nowhere to be seen. At that moment, I was glad that I escaped from his antics.

As soon as my friend’s car came, I pounced inside the car and she noticed something was odd about my behaviour. I told her the whole thing that happened and she told me something similar happened to her too in school days but she was not frightened and she did defended and scared the hell out of such guys. This was the first time I had such an encounter and maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to do anything about it. We reached college, did our rehearsal practice as usual but the day and my mind was on distraught. People appreciated the realism in me as a beggar. I felt like it was more of who I am they were referring to but they all said it was a genuine compliment. You have to believe in your classmate right. I was simply glad I did justice to the character.

I finally told about the nasty incident that I witnessed to my mom and brother. She was raged with anger and told me I should have done something. My brother thought I was kidding about such incident. But both of them understood the point that idiots are around and we need to be careful about it. Whenever I think about it, I sometimes feel like I should have thrown stones or my slipper at him or something. When a mere pretentious incident made me feel so much exploited inside, imagine victims of rape. Their brains would have been loaded with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There is an ardent need for psychiatric help and support from near and dear. I am lucky enough to have an open minded family who listened without any judgements and reviewed this incident modestly. Hope everyone gets such support, help and a person they can share their thoughts to.

(Trust me, the sad event part ends here J)

The day to perform the character (beggar) finally arrived. We all got dressed up. I wore an old, faded white shirt and paired it up with even more old, faded brown coloured dhoti which belonged to my father. Then, I put my plaited hair into a bun and released few strands of hair above my forehead. The magic in my uncontrollable curly hair is that it doesn’t fall. It stays intact in its own weird curly patterns and felt like added advantage for the beggar role and best of all no makeup. I never like wearing makeup other than powder and a bindi (the dot most of the Indian people wear on their forehead or in between their eyebrows). People were astonished by how really I resemble like a beggar both in terms of look and acting. When girls of my age want to act as princesses and female protagonists, I prefer to act whichever role I am given to its level best.

We were checking up the mikes, lights and other technical stuff. Then the assembly began. We sat along with the audience until it was show time for us. The satisfaction is when your audience claps with authentic happiness. The drama ended with a blast. We took hell lots of selfies and my next work began to haunt me. Work - It has no beginning or ending but omnipresent. We had an exhibition on the theme Human Resources. My group’s topic was about competency mapping and as a science student I had no Idea how to present intangible management terms as a visual model. Even though we struggled, we did manage to do it after long hassles and suggestions. On the day of exhibition, we had to present the models and explain it to the visitors. We had a competency related puzzles and riddles which made them more enthusiastic about my group’s topic. I found it as an enriching experience. It’s always a pleasure for me to explain, teach and reach people through what I know.  

My group's exhibition models

I donated my blood for the first time! I know it’s unbelievable for me too. Blood donation camp was organised at my college. They checked my weight and gave a form to be filled. The form contained questions regarding health, hygiene and who I am. I was assigned to a number which they used as reference for sending people inside the room where they tested and took blood for donation. The nurse took a swab of cotton dipped in antiseptic liquid and wiped my forefinger. Then, she pricked it with something that looked like a thumbtack and blood drop oozed. She took a slender transparent thing with small gap in it to collect my blood drop and inserted it into a machine. It gave whirling sound and gave a digital reading about my white blood cells count. She put a cotton ball to the place she pricked and sent to another medical officer to check my blood pressure. I was approved to be fit for donating my blood.

I was then given a glucose solution to drink and was rested in a bed which had a green bed sheet and a pillow to support my head. There were fellow blood donators who were beside me who said it hurt and panic strikes me. I was determined to donate my blood no matter what even after disapproval from my mom. The nurse comes, she took an antiseptic liquid infused swab and cleans the skin of my left elbow joint and inserts a needle which apparently was the scary part for many. But it felt like a mosquito bite for me. This needle is attached to a tube which leads the blood to be collected to a plastic pouch. The pouch is kept above a digital weighing scale. I was given a foam ball in my left hand and told to press it hard and release till the required amount is taken. Most of them felt pain and dizziness but I didn’t. Maybe I am healthy and strong. After the process was over I was given an orange juice, biscuit packet, key chain and a certificate. Felt more proud than painful.

My blood donation certificate!

Sports day celebrations happened. As my college completed 25 years they thought of doing it in a grand way and held it at an enormous sports open stadium. We sat in one place and got snacks and a mango juice. Suddenly they made us to leave and occupy the opposite side of the stadium. So, we had to walk all over the stadium, miss most of the fun part and had to search for seats with less dust. The stage was distant and people were tiny and we understood nothing but we were going to go home late. But the sunset was worth waiting for. The warmth in the sky slowly turned darker. It became night and I had to catch a train with my friends to reach back home.

The enormous sports stadium

Side view of the same ground -  Because why not? Pictures tell thousand words

That mesmerizing sunset at the stadium

College day came up and my mom was happy because it’s the only event parents are invited to attend by my college. We took a bus and reached the place super soon. We waited and waited for the event to begin. Then, we waited and waited for the event to end soon. The chief guest instead of giving a speech she gave a long detailed lecture which further delayed the schedule of the event. The sky was pitch black and the stage lights were so much focused over the audience my eyes began to dry up. Few of the students rebelled to the gate to go home soon. I stayed till the event finish as I couldn’t find my mom in the parent’s crowd and didn’t want to disturb her to the only college event she got invited to. Later she confessed to me we should have left earlier.

See! That's how intense the lights were. If you were an event organiser or by chance are in-charge of stage lights please consider my request of not flashing high beams of lights towards the audience who might eventually get glaucoma from it. Thank you.

Senior’s farewell arrived. Usually it is not a custom to do it at Post graduate level but I guess anything is possible in a class I belong to. I didn’t even knew half of my seniors to whom we paid hefty amount for a place where we were going to dress up, play games and eat food. Sounds like childhood memories. I guess we never grow up but only get older and better. We danced like there was no tomorrow and the next day I became sick. Guess that’s what happens to an introvert who tries the joys of an extrovert. After the farewell, I reached the bus stop and sat beside a school kid. She smiled and I smiled back. We spoke about Chennai, my college, her school, summer, weather, global warming, education, etc. We both took the same bus, she got her stop sooner. She waved her hand at me as a goodbye. I had this spontaneous warm smile and gave a little wave as a bye. More than the spent farewell to unknown college senior acquaintances, this small conversation with a little girl felt more worth it. Children do have captivating magic which can’t be bought or compared with anything in the world.

My Undergraduate classmate wedding reception invite came. It was my chance to meet my most cherished possession - My buddies. Thankfully or coincidently they have same thinking and interests as I do. Nothing is as exquisite as meeting the people who thinks alike. I reached the venue sooner than I thought. Few couldn’t make it but most of them came. We were having great joy and smiles as we met after a long time. It was as if the smiles were glued to our faces. We spoke about our lives, the bride, reception and all. As the crowd was more and we “girls” have to return home as soon as possible, we headed towards the dining part first. We went and saw people eating meat and Non-vegetarian foods. My vegetarian friends got a shock of their lives. Then, it turns out that there is a separate vegetarian section outside the hall. We ate all ate vegetarian food. Well all did eating but I was blabbering instead. We got our return gifts as soon as we finished eating. The funny thing is we haven’t even met and took pictures with the bride yet. Couple of kids were dancing to the music offstage. We queued up to take a picture and wish the bride and go home. The photographers took a while to take angle shots, panoramic shots and full group pictures of us on the stage with the bride. We were grinning all the time and it felt awkward to stand on a stage and grin towards seated strangers.

Like I said, it was as eventful as it gets! 

If you had read fully till now, it means you are an awesome and patient reader. Kudos to you and happy Tamil new year!!

இனிய தமிழ் புத்தாண்டு வாழ்த்துக்கள்!!

The So called "happy ending!"

It's been almost a month I have last blogged. Wow! A mixture of highs and lows happened in such a short period of time for me.

Brief info of the happenings ~ First I presented a poster about my research at a national conference and won best presentation award. Then, we had farewell from the juniors, last ethnic day, last class assignment, last class presentation, last project submission, last college day event, last lab classes, last class lectures and finally my last day at college ended at 14th march 2016. I also attended my first official interview at an eminent college for MBA and hope I get a positive response.

So final year has happily ended but I still have semester exams to finish during last week of March until then I am temporarily freed from my college. I have experienced happiness, sorrow, jealousy, fights, stress, boredom, separation, desperation, headaches, and so many other things of which I saw in fast forward mode during last few days of my college life.

• The conference I attended was at Madras veterinary college which was situated in Vepery, Chennai. My friends were so nice to give me a lift to the place without any hesitation. I was so lucky to see so many pets and it was a heaven for me to see so many cute creatures. They are non-judgmental at the same time each pet has its own characteristic style and behaviour. I admired them. I and my classmates expected the conference was about food but all that was shown, presented, researched, and spoke was only about meat industry. We saw ethical ways to kill meat, different images of meat and some of my vegetarian friends were in disgust seeing those images. Even though the price to attend the conference was above 1000 rupees which is technically too much for a middle class student like me but I think it’s okay for something that can't be bought anywhere i.e. hanging out with besties. By the way I got a bag, pouch, key chain, stationery items, fancy designer green umbrella and a book in which my research abstract was published. When the speaker was saying animals don't feel much pain I made a sly joke that even it has kidney and heart like we do in hushed tone. My besties heard my words and could not hold their laughter and that also made me to laugh out loud but I tried to hold my laughter as much as possible. The Day 1 of the conference I presented my poster and attended the sessions.  Later, the day was becoming night so my friends did not let me go home alone. I visited my friend's place and aunty insisted me to eat. So I eventually gave up and ate a delicious crispy murruku (Indian fried snack) and drank a cup of Brahmin aathu kaapi (the coffee made by Brahmin people). I and other friend were waiting for her mom to pick us up. Then, my friend’s mom and her sister came. She and my Brahmin friend's family discussed a big discussion on the future education of their daughters and I was very tired and desperate to reach home and sleep. I was envy of my friend's sister who was happily skipping and was not involved into such an intense topic by the elders. They finally wrapped up their talks and decided to leave. Out of nowhere my friend suddenly gets reminded of the shawarma promise she made to me long ago and made her mom to stop at an Arabic cuisine restaurant and buy me a shawarma. I waited in the car while aunty went and bought a shawarma for me and their daughters. I was too happy for getting a delicious food that I have been craving for a long time. They left me at my home and said good bye. I went straight into kitchen, took a knife cut the shawarma into 3 pieces for my mom, my brother and one piece for me to devour it's glorious flavour on my taste buds. It wasn't that tasty as I expected because it was too bland and filled with too less veggies and mayonnaise. My personal preference would be spicy, tandoor style chicken pieces with lots of fresh cut veggies, succulent amount of mayonnaise with neatly cooked roti. But still it is a caring gift from a dear friend which made it extra special regardless of its taste. On Day 2 they delayed like anything with elaborate presentations and at last announcement of winners initiated. The names of my best friends were announced and I was overwhelming with joy and clapped till my palm hurt and reddened. Then immediately my name was announced. My mind was like it's definitely a delusion, things like this can never happen to an unpopular, lame person like me or this must be a weird dream they must be some mistake. The people beside me were started staring at me and I felt vibes of jealousy, judgmental look indicating their thoughts like how could a person like me getting an award? But most of them stared plainly which reminded me to get the hell up from my chair and receive my accomplishment. I walked.... nope I ran like a deer jumping over obstacles like chairs, bags, people and finally reached the place to receive my only proud accomplishment in college life. My heart was beating to its full extent like I was experiencing a bungee jump. The prize was a torch light with 3 batteries. But proving certain people wrong and achieving something that people believed in you is the best gift I got that day. 
• Ethnic day was the next big thing in the recent events. It is the day when everyone in the college wears ethnic wear mostly sarees. I wore an orangish red saree with maroon border and gold zari work from my mom's wardrobe. That was the only saree that was proper without any leaching of colour from the floods. I then accessorized it with black beaded magnet necklace, gold coloured bangles and a golden earrings studded with maroon gems. I went on the street in this attire which was an unusual sight for most of the neighbours. I walked till the bus stop and prayed that the bus would be less crowded but fate always get tempted to test my abilities. I ended up taking the extremely crowded bus. I kept one hand to a metal rod and other one into my purse which I was holding with my mouth to get a ticket. I hung near the foot board for while then slowly went into the middle section of the bus in a haphazard manner. I finally got down from the bus and gave a secret pat to myself for surviving such a crowded bus that too in a saree. I reached college and saw everyone were arranging their pleats of the saree, some taking selfies, some were putting make up on their friend's faces and some just admired the moment like me. Then I also joined them to take some pictures in saree and had a beautiful day to remember forever.

• After that came the special gala event for every final year student from their juniors - The farewell! The invite came as a surprise during the class hours. It was a woven basket containing beautiful LED light arrangement along with seashells, decorative flowers, non-alcoholic Pomegranate juice in a fancy corked bottle and a beautiful card with blue ribbon to it. The card had the details of the theme, venue, date and timings for us. The theme was "50 Shades of Blue!" and most of us were only having our wardrobes dominated by shades of pink, black and white. The plans to shop new dress evolved and the hunt for a gorgeous blue dress was on everyone's mind. And for me no new dress because of various reasons. So I ended up going in a kurta and legging. I did pack a black and white striped dress that was gifted to me by my besties during my birthday. I came 15 minutes earlier that the time specified. The juniors were the people who expected us to reach 1 hour late than the specified time. I went to prep up for the occasion in the change room. I asked if they needed any help but they denied the offer, then I roamed the hall, and finally waited for my classmates like a little pup waiting for its owner to come home. Then slowly few people showed up and it became a crowd and filled the hall. They didn't kept the A.C. on which made us to sweat a lot and I was craving for some fresh cool air like a zombie craving for human flesh. We took lots of pictures, played games, ate food which was not as delicious as the reviews of the hotel, saw a video of ourselves and our alma mater which got us emotional about leaving some of our prized possessions - Our friends. We had a group hug and a group photo. The farewell gift was something we all will never forget it was a calendar with our group photo on the cover and a picture and birthday of each classmate on each month. This gift was the best part of the farewell.
• My last class assignment using a PowerPoint presentation went so well that the teacher could not believe her own eyes and enquired me in front of the whole class whether I put my own effort and made it or downloaded it somewhere from the internet. The truth is I was so impatient with the too long wait because my name which starts with the letter “S” and I had a long queue of people i.e. my classmates to be presenting before my turn comes. So, I was adding pictures and extra information into it in the mean time and surprised everyone or I am just that unbelievably talented at presentations.
• We spent last few days of our college life by wearing colour coded days. We wore combinations of red and black, blue and green, orange and yellow and final day was twin dressing. It was very fun to dress up for a purpose.
• The final day of the college arrived and everyone were scribbling on each other’s lab coats for their memories to be remembered forever. Some brought slam books and were immersed into it. So, that’s what happening in the last few days of my life hope to see more such wonderful experiences in future. The end to my college life! Or the beginning to a new journey of my life!