Poem - Nothing lasts longer than you think

Looking outside, everything seems false

Looking inside, falling into a trance

Trying to survive, out of a joke

Hoping for good, like a whisper of smoke

Want to do, something that amaze

Yet here I am, falling into a daze

All these fake faces, they make you barf

But sometimes life, does make you laugh

Even if it’s the case of delusions

It’s like a maze of emotions

Laced by the fact of emptiness

Paced to seek for happiness

- Sunayana

Having holidays and lot's of boring time. No. I didn't had a vacation as my brother is having his college exams. And also no, I am not allowed to go out with friends because they think I might become a spendthrift or get a beautiful tan that will lead to skin cancer. Chennai weather is one chaotic situation. Whomever currently living here, are eligible enough to survive Sahara desert. I passed most of my time seeing biographical movies, eating food and long uninterrupted blissful sleeps. Anyways, I just wanted to share this lame poem I wrote in the meantime. Excuse me for all the grammatical mistakes or if offended the format of a proper poem. I am just an amateur poetess. Hope you all had great time with your April 2017 too. 😊 

Blogged for one year!

Wow! 

I don't know what to say. *Nervous chuckles* Usually, I blogged pages and pages but now I am blank. Is it an achievement? Is it an autobiography? or Is it something else? Whomever reading my blog out there I hope I am not annoying you with the rants of my life. And I hope my blogs are always uplifting and enjoyable to read. It might not be a great piece of literature or knowledge. But I can assure you it is something special and a part of who I am. 

Thank you! (P.S. The only relevant thing I could thing of.) 

My first blog was named "The Life of mine" I don't remember exactly when I created it, probably during first year of my under-graduate class I guess. I blogged the same stuff I do in this blog. After I posted my first post in it, I got scared. Scared of who might read it,  scared of judgmental views, scared of wasting other's time by writing purposeless blogs about my life incidents, and lots more scary stuff. "Teenage" was indeed a time to get lots of pessimistic thoughts especially for me. So, within 24 hours, I deleted that blog. I gave up blogging. Nothing changed, same old routine life persisted.

December, 2015 - It's amazing how certain unexpected things especially floods and boredom can stimulate you to do something. That's how the journey of "Being Sunayana" began. December Floods at Chennai gave me the immense strength to do what we enjoy doing and live the life like there is no tomorrow. I was not scared anymore or afraid to tell the world about who I am and what is happening around me. Boredom is also an equivalent powerful intangible thing too. It can make humans to do amazing and crazy things depends on the individual. It made me start a blog which I was afraid to do. And helped me to discover myself through weave of words and thoughts.

But secretly hoping not to get anymore drastic calamities in future. Bear with my blogging atrocities because I ain't quitting. And I hope you guys also follow or at least spend some time on things that makes you smile, laugh, happy and alive.

Until, then will be back soon with another blog post.

Stay happy and healthy. 

Just a random flower painting by me.
(I guess, Boredom does makes you do things)

Weekend headaches!

My college conducts an annual intercollegiate event called "Jhankar". This year jhankar theme was comic-on. This is the only moment my college looks like co-ed. So, there will be lots of events, competitions, music, stalls, advertisements, gossips, etc. Unfortunately, I did not have the freedom to choose the event I want to attend. My department made my class people to sit for a classical music event yesterday and said it was "compulsory attendance" So, I reached college with disinterest, music was banging through the speakers, girls outside the college waiting or checking their phones furiously and I was searching for my classmates to ensure whether I am the only soul who ended up sincerely to the event. Then, I gave my attendance to my faculty and walked to fifth floor using stairs. The stairs are normal, simple, and easy to use. But when it comes to reach 5th floor using stairs it is like a task which I would trade for anything. 

I was tired as hell after reaching fifth floor. There is this tiny auditorium into which I entered. I sat in the last bench where my classmates were seated behind my faculty members. Even though my faculty sat on the last corner of the auditorium, they made us to shift to the front. And I ended up sitting in the front middle side where there will be constant eye contact from contestants on the stage. Then they took some roll call of the contestants who were present. To my surprise there were only 6 contestants who participated. I am neither a fan nor enemy of carnatic music. So, I don’t hate or have interest to listen to them singing.

All of them brought a shruthi dabba (Music box), adjusted the microphone, some did mike testing and then sang. One contestant sang a Telugu carnatic song in which a phrase had this word "Bro" in it. This word was so funny; I and my friend could not control our laughter. I tried to bite my tongue, close my mouth with hands, close my eyes, etc nothing worked we were smiling like idiots throughout her song. Then the judges came and announced the winners. Hearing Brahmin slang of Tamil after long time is divine. Later, I went down to ground floor by stairs. Going down the stairs is the easy part unless you get slipped and get hurt. Then, my friend gave me a ride back home. 

I was so happy that the session I wanted to miss ended soon and I reached home to take lots of rest. My Karma had another plans. My aunt from U.S. came to India after a long time to see her sister (My mom). Suddenly, I had to be adhering to etiquette and all. My mom and aunt decided to go somewhere outside. They discussed for a while and thought of going to Besant nagar beach. Guess who ended up going along with them? "Me!" My dad was busy with his shop, my brother had tuition and I had nothing to do. So, we all walked till the bus stop and took "5E" (Bus number). I had a distant memory that this bus goes to Besant nagar beach. I took three tickets to Besant nagar and waited for a free seat to sit. Then, we reached the church area of the Besant nagar. We walked towards the beach, ate panniyaram/puluntalu/ Fried fermented rice batter with coconut and tomato chutney. They both gossiped for a while. We walked in the sand and came across fish stalls. We ordered a plate of Nethili (Fried spicy fish). 

Again, we walked for a while saw the waves of the ocean. Then, we all returned to the bus stop. We waited for so long that we believed that we were on the wrong bus stop. My aunt and mom were so tired they even went to take an auto but the auto people charge too much amount. We waited and waited at last the bus arrived. People were cramming to get in and get out of the bus due to its delay. We got in and were wishing the bus moves soon. I was glad that my mom and aunt got seated. I wanted to get down of the bus as soon as possible. There was a drunken man seated in front of me, a guy shouting about his life blunders, etc. We got down thankfully without becoming retarded. 

Today, I had Interdepartmental event for Jhankar. I helped my friends who were participating in the Junk art. My department theme was superman. So, we were thinking ideas how to portray superman from junk. 

This was the one they presented in the "Junk art" competition

We saw the judges dancing for a song. The day went well. I took a bus and reached home to a view of intensely conversing sisters (my mom and aunt). Now, ended up with Headache due to lack of rest and change in my routine weekend life. Headaches can be normal or special or uninvited. But weekend headaches are the worst. Hope you guys had a nice weekend!

Republic or Responsibility?

January 26, 1950 has been regarded as republic day. Every citizen of India is imprinted with this data in their brilliant minds from school days. So, it happened 66 years back; still India is in developing status. Yesterday an unimaginable incident happened at my college. That changed my whole perspective about the people. The lab assistant in my college came and was doing her work as usual. Suddenly concentrated acid from an apparatus got splashed onto her face. I didn’t saw the event personally but I heard about it. There were petrifying black marks on the lab ceiling where the acid got splashed. So, I could see that the accident happened was not a rumour but something serious and real.

There was no first aid kit, compact fire extinguisher, liquids for eye care, burns, injuries, etc for sudden unexpected causalities at the lab. The lab assistant lady has to be rushed to a nearby hospital to get treated. I hope she gets well soon. Nowadays, education teaches values, science, maths, languages, History, economics, etc. It forgets or fails to teach the main things and requirements in life. They never try to teach how to open a bank account, how to pay tax, what is Aadhar card, how to use fire extinguisher, what to do when there is a natural disaster, how to help an injured person, etc. These essential things are not included in our education system and when these school children become big individuals they tend to forget the necessity and importance of these things. This leads to negligence and we tend to prioritize to the things which we learnt and remember alone.

Most of the people who evaluate the standards of educational institutes only inspect the educational profile of the faculty, availability of equipments, achievements gallery and the mere unnecessary outer make up that the institution shows off. They must also evaluate the safety measures available at the institutions, psychometric state of the faculty, knowledge of the faculty apart from studies which can be about first aid, usage of fire extinguishers, counselling of students who are suicidal, depressed, etc. I feel every individual needs to know and grow their knowledge in order to reduce most of the blunders in India. Until then, sorry we will become underprivileged country from developing country. 

Let’s make a responsible change in the way our India works. So, it’s a not so happy republic day from my side! 

Please see: This is my personal views of what the current India needs to be changing. Also, I have no Intention to blame anybody, I just wish all who reads my blog take this message in good spirit and try to gain whatever view I have presented above in optimistic manner.

The Co"incidence!"

Recently at my college there was something called a finishing school happened to me. During the three days session of the finishing school, I and my classmates learnt/realised a whole new version of ourselves. At first we were all sceptical about the sessions because we thought they might be boring, illogical, time wasting, and money scavenging sessions. But it was nice to have a literate, sound minded person to handle us. 

She gave lots of activities, new horizons of thoughts and about life. We came to know about lots of psychological terms, tests, studies, self improvement techniques, conflicts, gratitude, anger management, etc. After the last day of the session she ended with a thought provoking thing for us to know about gratitude. She mentioned we all must be thankful to everyone who made it possible that we got everything we wish for. We must not take it for granted instead appreciate it. We must be thankful for getting tank full water at our houses where there is still women who buy water for 7 rupees per bucket. We must be thankful for having a roof above us where there are people who are unable to have 3 meals daily. She also said when we visit an orphanage or meet a disabled persons, our way of thinking about life can change. 

So, today I had to take a bus to go to college. I woke up early, brushed my teeth in cartoon motion, and changed my clothes. I was half-awake and half-sleepy like a sloth. My brother was sleeping happily. I had to bring a great amount of cheers like “You can do it!” “Come on!” “It’s only a walk towards the bus stop, catch a bus and walk again towards the college where you have to cross 3 roads. So, simple” Yet that much complicated it is. Then, it went on like “Okay first eat something and go! You don’t want to embarrass yourself by fainting on the road!” 

I stepped outside the house by 6:00 A.M. The weather was horribly cold. I was walking and noticed the sky was getting darker. “Oh My God. What if it rains today? I don’t even have an umbrella with me. You dumb brain why can’t you remind me about the umbrella like you reminded me the food” I was in such a state I was scolding myself for being dumb and forgetful. I was waiting for the bus for a long time. I even caught cold. I was thinking why I am suffering so much? Then finally I got a bus luckily less crowded. 

I took a ticket and sat on the only empty seat available on the bus. There were two passengers seated in front of me. At first I thought they were crazy then I recognised they were talking in sign language. Whoa! from weird actions to being curious to know what those hand movements meant. Well, what a coincidence within 24 hours of the session at college I met two deaf people who were really fascinating to watch the way they were conversing. Even I never had such a deep happiness and smile when I was talking with my dear ones. The way they were eagerly waiting and giving respect for each other’s reply was something we all need to learn. Even the deaf people are better at listening than some of us who can hear and knows how to respond properly. 

I don’t want to be mean, but in my life many people blabber but never felt the necessity to listen instead of blabbering so much. Maybe the person who is listening might also want to say something give them a chance to speak too. The lady at the session also mentioned that “Small minds talk about others, Average minds talk about events and Great minds talk about ideas” So, which one you belong to only you can know and maybe you can bring a change to yourself and become great minds. Even though I felt horrible about forgetting an umbrella I was totally immersed into the way the deaf people made me realise a point without even speaking but with their mere joyful actions.

Luckily it didn’t rain, too! Life is not 100% sad after all. We need to enjoy whatever life throws at us.

Shawarma cravings and friendship!

My first shawarma eating experience was during my childhood. An Arabian cuisine related eatery was newly set near the neighborhood, which served delicious shawarmas at affordable price. My dad who used to buy chocolates every week started to bring shawarmas instead. 

Sometimes, I wish I could advice people that the solution to all your problems is one yummy shawarma! It is a delicious delight to taste its rich creamy layer of mayonnaise, crunchy sliced vegetables, and the cooked spicy meat pieces wrapped by soft roti all at once. 

After few years later, the outlet suddenly vanishes out of sight and here I am ended up with shawarma cravings. I don’t remember when I have mentioned my profound cravings for shawarma to my good friend at college. She was so sweet and took me to an actual restaurant to buy me one. Yeah, I am grateful to have a friend who doesn’t think I am crazy and takes care of me like she’s my guardian angel. 

So, back to the restaurant scene; trying to see the menu and we ordered what we wanted – “Shawarma!” The twist in the plot was the guy who takes the order said they don’t serve it until 5pm. *KABOOM* That moment the heart wrenches. Then, we decided to buy some other dish as parcel and waited. There we spoke about life, took Selfie, etc. 

Even though I didn’t get shawarma I got a friend who would buy me a shawarma when I just utter about it! So, I guess I am satisfied beyond the cravings. 

Hope you also get friends who never judges you but appreciates and happy being under your companionship.

The bazaar/bizarre experience

The entrepreneur development cell of my college conducts an annual event for its students to showcase their business talents/tactics. Every year I used to think of participating but back off. But this time I wanted different experiences to remember my college days as my last semester going to end soon. So, I pushed my comfort levels and attended the meeting regarding the bazaar. The first thing required was forming a team. I wasn’t serious about keeping a stall until I spoke with my classmate about the details. The next thing was to choose what to sell at the stall. (I kept a food stall.) Delicious as it sounds keeping a stall that have perishable or requires purchase of many materials and cooking of those materials in bulk is not a fun thing to do.

After registering our stall, we get to sell tickets for the event. Let me give an important piece of advice from my ticket selling experience. Never feel sad, afraid or nervous while selling tickets; trust me that never work. At the same time, you need to analyse the body language, attitude and emotional state of the buyer because come on they are also common human being just like us. So in order to sell a ticket think like a buyer, think what you will offer along with the ticket, grab or provoke need for buying the ticket, etc. So, ticket selling was hard still the feel you get when a ticket gets sold is something you can brag about.

Due to floods in Chennai the date was postponed to December 26 & 27, 2015. Christmas night was a horror time for me; I started to think that I made a huge mistake investing in the stall. On the day of the event, I and my team members arranged all the required things on the table. Food stall gets crowded at a particular time and during some other time no one even gives a damn to at least see the menu and offers a food stall has. So, if any of you thinking of keeping a food stall the only mantra that helps is “Patience”. But still you can use other strategies like dragging known people and make them buy from you. Even though, I wasn’t astounded with my first stall experience still some new experience is better than nothing to remember 2015.

Belated happy new year!!

Rains of Chennai lead to my boredom

          College was something that I dreaded as a routine in my life. When finally the holidays are announced after my exams; I was definitely at cloud nine. But eventually, I got bored of holidays too. The same old Facebook, YouTube, and whole lots of websites became my cheerleaders during my holidays. Finally, I was counting days to enter the first day of my Final semester at college on November 16, 2015. And the skies in Chennai had other plans.

In Chennai, I believe most of the youth/students are diverse yet united by Rains. Because getting heavy rains in Chennai is like a spectacle for every Chennailite. And when it happens especially every school/college student like me turns the T.V. on and looks at the flashing News section of all the Tamil News channels. We all usually wish the college and schools announces holiday due to heavy rains. Whenever they announce holiday due to heavy rains that day has the beautiful sunshine. But this time it was different, the rains were constant and flooded the Chennai. Even though holidays are fun when there are rains it is hard to go out or take a vacation especially for a person who thinks too much while stepping out of the house.

So for past few days my life schedule is dependent on the Tamil news channels, Internet and weather. Now, I am dreading this kind of routine. By God’s grace me, my family and my friends are safe. But there is this feeling of getting annoyed by constant heavy rains, no college, no actual social interactions, no activity, etc. So here I am finally giving a try at blogging about my life experiences.

P.s. All the opinions above are mine and it can be pointless, nonsense, etc. But if you like it thanks for reading it. 

This area was near my house.. hope rains becomes less constant for a while. Picture courtesy: My dad