Final year - The Future and the Flashback!

So, being a final year student, the struggles are real. There will be new beginnings, post graduation thoughts, excelling in exams without arrears, keeping updated with current/real world that I missed during three years of college and all obscure, good and even scary thoughts crossing the path of my life. All the pending works has to be finished at great speed. Also, most of my time got absorbed by the rains and floods of Chennai now I am in a game called “Mission finishing college” where my goals are to finish all my assignments within few days along with exam tension and by bearing added special headache from the faculty. 

The most horrifying and dreadful thing to me is the queries asked about my career/future plans by my relatives of all kinds (aunts, uncles, acquaintances, relatives whom I have never met or spoke before – “strangers”) which can be an added pressure but for them I guess it is a desirable pleasure to intervene into our matters out of nowhere like it's a part of their routine. There is a term called Schadenfreude/ Epicaricacy – a pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune, which is what their behavior suggests. I feel like if they are so concerned in my life, fund me some money for my education or start-up business or provide me job opportunities or else just be polite and stop nagging me about my future plans repeatedly and bragging about your son’s/ daughter’s achievements. Basically, please stop including extra tension as a part of my life. 

So far, I have written four competitive exams for MBA and hoping to get placed in a good college. When my scores came and I was invited for Group discussion (GD) or Personal interviews (PI) from many colleges which are situated in Pune, Bhuvaneshwar, Bangalore, Delhi, etc. I took a phone interview for one college situated in Bangalore and got selected. And here comes fate’s play, my dad was like “a girl child should not go so far for studies it is not safe.” All my hopes to get placed in a proper institution went into drain. I can understand the concern but it is not fair to believe in old ideologies in 21st century and as a grownup I have right to choose what I want to do but as the fees is paid by him I had to obey his orders. 

The same incident happened to me for my under graduate course selection. The conditions were No co-ed, only Chennai, only women’s college, nearby to home, known/ safe area for girls, etc. So, I applied for all the women’s colleges with the course of my liking and just joined the one which selected me first. And I ended up studying B.Sc. Food science and Management. I had no idea what food science meant during my initial days of my college. I just chose it because murdering a vegetable (or any food) is not an offense. I had never communicated in English in my school days. All my classmates were fashionably updated most of them fluent in English and Hindi and I had sense of being the odd one out. I daily cried after college and was worried that college would be this horrifying for Three years. Most of my classmates had their schoolmates or besties and formed groups. I wasn’t included in any of them. I felt unwelcomed and secluded. Then slowly it changed I found the most unique, spectacular individuals as my friends and I am so glad I met them. Then I got adjusted to the college life. The transition between school life and college life is phenomenal.

Another struggle was the questions people asked about my course were annoying, dumb and made no sense. Some examples of those questions: Is it Home Science? (No); Is it like hospitality management (nahi), Is it cooking management (Uhh.... nope. Not studying b.sc in maid science), you can eat delicious food everyday right? (pfft.. who said I get to eat something edible and healthy food, indha course adhukum mela), you will cook nice stuff for your husband? (As long as he does not have a death wish he will avoid my cooking), you are so lucky that you get to study about food, right? (I am not a big foodie and it is kinda hard to concentrate and study my course without getting hungry) Nowadays I reply that I am doing M.B.B.S in food or I am a food doctor. Finally a question which is ridiculous and serious at the same time “why did you chose this course?” can be a million dollar question but the answer would be fate!

The Co"incidence!"

Recently at my college there was something called a finishing school happened to me. During the three days session of the finishing school, I and my classmates learnt/realised a whole new version of ourselves. At first we were all sceptical about the sessions because we thought they might be boring, illogical, time wasting, and money scavenging sessions. But it was nice to have a literate, sound minded person to handle us. 

She gave lots of activities, new horizons of thoughts and about life. We came to know about lots of psychological terms, tests, studies, self improvement techniques, conflicts, gratitude, anger management, etc. After the last day of the session she ended with a thought provoking thing for us to know about gratitude. She mentioned we all must be thankful to everyone who made it possible that we got everything we wish for. We must not take it for granted instead appreciate it. We must be thankful for getting tank full water at our houses where there is still women who buy water for 7 rupees per bucket. We must be thankful for having a roof above us where there are people who are unable to have 3 meals daily. She also said when we visit an orphanage or meet a disabled persons, our way of thinking about life can change. 

So, today I had to take a bus to go to college. I woke up early, brushed my teeth in cartoon motion, and changed my clothes. I was half-awake and half-sleepy like a sloth. My brother was sleeping happily. I had to bring a great amount of cheers like “You can do it!” “Come on!” “It’s only a walk towards the bus stop, catch a bus and walk again towards the college where you have to cross 3 roads. So, simple” Yet that much complicated it is. Then, it went on like “Okay first eat something and go! You don’t want to embarrass yourself by fainting on the road!” 

I stepped outside the house by 6:00 A.M. The weather was horribly cold. I was walking and noticed the sky was getting darker. “Oh My God. What if it rains today? I don’t even have an umbrella with me. You dumb brain why can’t you remind me about the umbrella like you reminded me the food” I was in such a state I was scolding myself for being dumb and forgetful. I was waiting for the bus for a long time. I even caught cold. I was thinking why I am suffering so much? Then finally I got a bus luckily less crowded. 

I took a ticket and sat on the only empty seat available on the bus. There were two passengers seated in front of me. At first I thought they were crazy then I recognised they were talking in sign language. Whoa! from weird actions to being curious to know what those hand movements meant. Well, what a coincidence within 24 hours of the session at college I met two deaf people who were really fascinating to watch the way they were conversing. Even I never had such a deep happiness and smile when I was talking with my dear ones. The way they were eagerly waiting and giving respect for each other’s reply was something we all need to learn. Even the deaf people are better at listening than some of us who can hear and knows how to respond properly. 

I don’t want to be mean, but in my life many people blabber but never felt the necessity to listen instead of blabbering so much. Maybe the person who is listening might also want to say something give them a chance to speak too. The lady at the session also mentioned that “Small minds talk about others, Average minds talk about events and Great minds talk about ideas” So, which one you belong to only you can know and maybe you can bring a change to yourself and become great minds. Even though I felt horrible about forgetting an umbrella I was totally immersed into the way the deaf people made me realise a point without even speaking but with their mere joyful actions.

Luckily it didn’t rain, too! Life is not 100% sad after all. We need to enjoy whatever life throws at us.

Buses & Bus stops

I have been traveling in buses for the past 2 years. By the way my college started; it went well until after that I had to take a bus. Too many holidays, Cold winds, and a distance of 1.5 Km between the college and the bus-stop can make anyone to think twice to take a bus. Even though I was super sleepy and tired, walking is something I always preferred, plus it doesn't cost you any money, just your calories. So, one step at a time with different music tunes from the memory to distract tiredness and reach my destination: The bus-stop. 

Finally!!! I reached the bus-stop. I felt proud of myself whenever I reach the bus-stop and this achievement is something unique and gives me satisfaction even though it is just a walk to reach a bus-stop. So, reaching bus-stop is like Level-1 task; Level-2 is known as waiting and having patience till the correct bus that takes you home arrives. While waiting, we observe a lot of things, the roads, the vehicles, the skies, the birds (mostly crows and pigeons here), etc. This doesn't happens when the travel is by own personal vehicle. So, at first my patience and waiting for the bus was good, until I got bored and weak as the bag I was carrying was heavy.

My thoughts wandered towards questioning the need for urban lifestyle, pollution, no chairs to sit at the bus-stop; what if the bus never arrives? (The Nightmare). I even thought about why humans don't have hibernation period. Also, certain thoughts like what if someone is stalking or staring at me can occur if the wait is too long. An eyesight similar to Binocular vision is extremely important in order to read the signboards on the bus or else suffer missing the correct bus which leads to even more waiting that will test your patience. At last, When the correct bus is coming, my first thought would be Is this a mirage? Is my bus really coming? When it is confirmed a sense of euphoria occurs to me. But reality checks in and shows the bus so crowded which makes me to think twice to get into the bus. Lesson learnt ~ when we get joy, we get haunted by disappointment. 

So, without any further thinking I get into the crowded bus, crammed with people who stare as if I am forbidden from entering a bus. Then, other struggles can be taking out the exact money to get a ticket; holding on to the metal rod which can only prevent from falling and being stable even though the bus is drove on bumps, pits, etc. At this time, I wish and pray teleportation is invented and available to use. When the bus-stop where I need to get down is soon to be reached, I need to reach the open end of the bus to get down so I had to try squirming in such a way I think Yoga is easy to do. Alas, I reach my place safely and the song “we are the champions” by Crazy Frog comes into the mind.

Thanks for reading :)